Most of the couples I work with arrive after months, sometimes years, of having the same difficult conversations. They may know the pattern well: one pushes for an answer, the other pulls away; one feels criticised, the other feels ignored; both leave the conversation feeling misunderstood.
I work psychodynamically, which means I am interested in what is happening underneath the argument as well as in the argument itself. We pay attention to the detail of what happens between you in the room: who speaks first, when someone goes quiet, what feels impossible to say directly, and how quickly an ordinary disagreement becomes something much larger.
The point is not to decide who is right, or to teach you a better way to argue. The work is to understand why the same positions keep getting taken up. Often a couple's present difficulty carries older expectations about closeness, dependence, anger, disappointment, or being left out. When those expectations are not understood, they tend to get acted out between partners.
I trained as a psychoanalytic psychotherapist at the Arbours Association in London and I am an accredited member of the UKCP (Council for Psychoanalysis and Jungian Analysis College). I am currently completing advanced specialist training in couples psychotherapy at Tavistock Relationships, accredited by the British Psychoanalytic Council (BPC). All of my couples work is conducted under close clinical supervision by senior practitioners at Tavistock Relationships.
I speak English, Spanish and Swiss German. My couples work is in English, but those languages can help when someone is trying to find an English word for something that sits more naturally elsewhere. For some people, language is not a detail at the edge of therapy: it affects what feels speakable, what becomes blunt, and what gets lost in translation, particularly where partners come from different countries or family cultures.
If you would like to talk about whether this kind of work might suit you, you can get in touch through the contact form below.
Couples therapy in Tunbridge Wells and Cranbrook
Maria sees couples in person in Tunbridge Wells and Cranbrook, Kent. Sessions are fifty minutes, weekly, and the work is in English. Maria speaks Spanish and Swiss German, which can help when a couple is trying to express something in English that sits more naturally in another language. Couples therapy, marriage counselling, couples counselling, or relationship counselling in Tunbridge Wells, Cranbrook, Sevenoaks, Tonbridge, Tenterden, and the surrounding Kent and East Sussex area all fit here.
The approach is psychodynamic. That is explained more fully in the bio above and on the how we work page.
Contact Maria
If you would like to work with Maria, or have a question before deciding, you can write to them here. Writing commits you to nothing. If you go on to meet, the first session is a paid consultation, not a free introductory call.